Riverdale Rant Review – Season 2 episode 8 -House Of The Devil – The Fail!


…with of course…Spoilers!

Pre-warning, this is more rant then review…

So…oh my god, is where I am going to start, like Jesus guys!

If you ever wanted to piss off nearly all your shows fan’s in one episode you have gone, and fucking done it….

Right now, I’m not talking about any shipping war, fuck those for now….(well I only have a small point to add on those later…) but right now I want to talk about that awkward unneeded…if you could actually get through the cringe…stripper pole scene…!

First and foremost! SHE IS FUCKING 16!! Yes, her mother was shocked and yes, FP was a bit awkward after the fact…but you know, why the fuck did no-one stop it! (Now I love Jughead, but even he stood there like a sack of potatoes and did nothing…oh, and to add Jughead…don’t worry your dad is there to help her cover up!…Thank god eh! You just sit there with your awkward boner!)

At the end of the day, this is Betty Fucking Cooper we are talking about…the moment, the MOMENT, that Toni Topaz said … and I quote ‘I tried to have it outlawed, but misogyny dies hard’, should have been when Betty Cooper does what Betty Cooper does best, and tried her damnest to change it! With the help of the other Serpents woman, and you know, maybe the King and her Prince! (because isn’t that Jughead’s whole argument for why he joined them in the first place was,) to CHANGE it all!

…or TRIED, I could have dealt with a sad attempt at least, Betty and a petition or… SOMTHING…anything but this…!

But as I said…put that all a side,

…SHE IS STILL FUCKING 16! – I know the actors aren’t but these are high schoolers! Right?

I will not be shocked at the backlash Riverdale gets from this!

…now I didn’t hate everything from this week’s episode…

Let’s talk about FP Jones and Alice Cooper: The sexual tension is REAL, and I want more of it! I need this in my life…now I am a MASSIVE Bughead…so I’m excited to see if this mama and daddy do get together, and how it would affect these young love birds…but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it to happen! Mama Cooper needs to get on some of that FP, because damn! Fire!

The Archie and Veronica break up, yes this is crap! Being a MASSIVE Varchie too, this did upset me a bit, but V does have some major daddy issues to work through, and lets just look at this from a realistic point of view. You can’t have a show without a bit of drama, and if all the couples stayed together and just went through life, we’d get a little bored, wouldn’t we?…but through it all, I hope, no, I KNOW they will make it!

It’s the same with Jughead and Betty, now it would have probably made more of a punch if they didn’t already JUST break up, like 5 minutes ago, and as fans we felt like the issues and complications from that break up haven’t really been resolved yet. So, it does feel like we’ve been a little cheated, but again, we need drama, we need a little something to get us hooked, and come on guys these two will make it. I have more hope for these guys then Varchie, I’m not scared for these two at all.

Which now leads me onto Archie and Betty. I am one hundred percent sure something is going to happen with these guys next week., and it will be one hundred and ten percent a rebound thing!

I think they will kiss, which will then lead to Betty confessing it to Jughead which will in turn, (or should…) lead him to confessing what happened with him and Toni…! and I’m sure they will get through in that amazing Betty and Jughead way…

I’m not even prepared to talk about the Jughead and FP Jones ‘you broke my heart’ thing. I can’t deal. I’m still dying inside, (if I was Jug, I totally would have pushed Betty away too in that moment. He was a bad person, he RUID his dad’s life!…like when he took that drink……NOPE! not doing this, I can’t…moving on…


…at first, yes, it is all going to suck! Yes, we are going to be screaming at our screens…and yes, we will continue to tune in every week, because let’s face it…we love angst and we hate the boring life!

No show is going to survive if they only show fluff…

Rant over…peace out..

Photo: Riverdale, The CW

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