It’s never over…

Cry Human Sad Expression Sadness Eye Tear

I can’t breathe, like all the time that I enter my office building…

I hate my job, well that’s not true. I hate the people I work with, (minus a handful of people)

Do not ever move in with a friend, especially if that friend works with you, because when she practically kicks you out, because she wants to do weird shit with her boyfriends. (Yes, the S was intended). So, you do move out, but then she doesn’t like the fact that you are not giving her money anymore, so she turns into a 21-year-old stupid girl (thanks P!NK) (even those she’s in her mid-30s)

Now apparently, I turned everyone against her, apparently, I’m the one going around telling everyone….when it was him. The friend of her boyfriend, the one she was also with. He’s telling all the friends, before I left, before I knew. He even lied to me and said he told no one. I just wanted to stay out of it. He’s the one telling, and they don’t like it. They don’t like the way she is…but it’s my fault….

She used to be a good one, or so I thought…it’s sad. Now my whole office is against me, because she wants them all to believe her. She trying to beat me, she’s trying to coat the truth with her lies, to hide her guilt and make me out to be the liar. It’s funny because my integrity hasn’t change. I haven’t changed, she has, and just for the fact she is doing this. She wouldn’t have done this before. Our friendship was built on the complete opposite. We used to laugh at girls acting the way she is.

All I want to do is get on with my job. I don’t want to feel the panic, I don’t want to care. I need a new job…but that’s a completely different argument.

Now, do you think there is an age group or gap here? If there is one thing I can inform you of, with office bullying and playing up, is the older they are, the worst they are…

You see, I’m a lucky one. I actually have great group of friends, on other teams and outside work, but hello anxiety, it doesn’t let it stop…

I know…I know, I’m lucky.

I know that the only people’s opinions that matter are my friends…and my own,

…and I know that I can get a new job. I NEED a new job, my own job.

I also know that if I’m the only topic on their minds, then I have a better life, because theirs is so sad and they are so unhappy they must focus on mine.

I know all this, but social anxiety really is a bitch, and when I’m having panic attacks at my desk because I can’t help but overthink everything, even when it’s not about me. I can’t help but go into a spin.

I’m just glad I have the friends that I do. The ones that put up with my rants and crazy mind thinking. The ones that help me out in the hard times, and ones that have my back. The ones I truly love, who, I can say with confidence, truly love me…

Love and be beautiful people, inside and out…


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